It was brought to my attention recently that my younger brother does not like giving girls head. The messenger was a friend from my years of attending Jewish summer camp. His younger brother was now on the staff with my younger sibling. The news was delivered with a tone of disappointment. Well, what we do about it, I asked. Have you encouraged him in this regard? My friend assured me that he had but with little effect. This was a shonda, an embarassment to the family-but brough up some interesting ideas for me. When I think of Jewish sexual stereotypes they one that pops into mind is that Jewish girls are good at and like to give head. Monica Lewsinsky comes to mind. But in my hometown of Berkeley, CA and nationwide in my leftist hippie youth movement, Jewish men are just as well known for the affection for and gift with oral sex. There is a peer culture that supports it, unlike say in the African-American community, where it is done but not bragged about, or the Latino dudes who don’t do it at all. Why was it that the Jewish guys I know are such proud connesisseurs? Was it cultural? Perhaps it comes from their mothers. These fellows tend to have been raised by strong second wave feminist women who surely endowed their sons with love for the female body. On the other hand, this also describes my brother and he hasn’t coopted the giving strategy. When I asked my mom whether she had encouraged him to a be a giver in bed, she admitted she had not. My best friend Jenny, whose Jewish boyfriend is a master in these respects, in her own estimation, told me he had been instructed in the importance of giving oral pleasure to one’s lovers by his older sister. She had told him at a barely pubescent age to imagine it tasted like his favorite food, in this case- cheesesteak. So maybe I am the one who has failed? And what does this have to do with the Jews? Well, there is the insistence in Judaism that a man pleasure his wife and since a majority of women cannot climax through penentration alone, it seems maybe it’s religiously mandated. Maybe that’s the next approach i’ll try in convincing my brother to be a giver. I’ll tell him he’s a bad jew if he doesn’t.