Father’s Day

June 22, 2009 at 7:18 am (Uncategorized)

If mother’s day is stressful due to the plentitude of moms I’ve been graced with, Father’s Day is stressful in the opposite of manners. People worry about the abscence of “Father” in my life. In “people,” I mean politicians and strangers and the Right wing ” Family Values” freaks and some academics, too. Fathers and the lack thereof in children of lesbians lives are of primary importance to all of these demographics. Whether or not we will turn out well-adjusted hangs on this Father/child relationship. In my own case, I know who my Father is and would probably be sending him a greeting today, had he not cut off contact with me a few years back. We had been trying to work out some kind of adult version of a relationship but he got mad and declared the whole thing a farce. From my perspective, I think it had to do with a misplaced sense of entitlement. He felt like I owed him a number things on account of his role in my life- a certain amount of attention and time- and no other parent, none of the women who actually raised me demanded any comparable treatment. It’s sad for me that we don’t speak but I think it is more unfortunate for him. He is far more alone in this world than I am. What is interesting to me, from a socio-logical point of view, is that my brother, conceived thanks to a known Gay donor, is in a very similar situation. He, too, is estranged from his Dads due to a kerfluffle involving a missing Father’s Day card or some other such nonsense. There was a NY Times article discussing this phenonmenon in Donor Dads,

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