my queerspawn doppelganger

May 6, 2009 at 4:31 am (Uncategorized)

So in my trawling of the web for things that relate both to my work and my procrastination, I found an article in the New York Times called “Growing up with mom and mom” http://www.nytimes.com/2004/10/24/magazine/24KIDS.html  It’s about this girl Ry Russo Young and her lesbian moms. I have heard of her before, our community isn’t that big, and she went to Oberlin, along with everyone else i know, so of course we’ve got people in common. So, i’m reading this article and thinking wow- this is the person who is most similar to me of anyone i’ve ever read about. Lesbian moms, raised in the gayborhood, a natural performer who identifies with drag queens but is straight. After complaining yesterday about not identifying with most of the stories in “families like mine”, today i am having the opposite problem. too much identification. I admit I feel a little jealous which is silly because its like being envious of yourself.  I can’t name anything she’s got that I don’t have and want- but somehow I feel just a little bit less special knowing she’s got it too. kind of  toddler like reaction. Also, it weirds me out some of the stuff we have in common, like “hey i thought that was who I was as an individual”, but seeing that we share this laundry list of  things in common makes me wonder if in fact this is all my upbringing shining through. If we were both pink obsessed as young girls, does that mean our moms have to do with it? what can I blame on coincidence and what do I need to examine? maybe pink obssession is a weird thing to blame your dyke moms for but still…For a second i was concerned that perhaps she was older than me and therefore in front of me in the imaginary line of numbered queerspawn. I used to think I was the first kid of “out at birth” gay parents. A talk with a COLAGE organizer burst that bubble but they were nice enough to assure me that I was at least in the first one hundred, though there was no guarentee as no real study has been made. No one knows who the first was, is the point and so in my head I line them all up, all those damn folks born slightly before me and therefore stealing my queerspawn thunder and coveted first position.  No worries, my place in line is secure. Next ,I was worried that somehow this might jeopardize the all important book, since so much of it rides on how unique this whole situation is- if lesbian moms were a dime a dozen, noone would care to read my account. I was in a bit of a panic until I remembered that only part of the story is gay momness- i still have the Israeli combat soldier/peace activist romance angle to cover. Thank God.

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